Time Has Separated Us

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Time Has Separated Us
By Laksmi Nrsimha Das

Dear Tamal Krsna Goswami Maharaja:

This relative factor known as time has separated us again. You have now joined Prabhupada in his eternal sankirtan lila and I remain behind solidly enamored and controlled by the time factor of this material world. For three years, I had the blessing of your association while traveling on the Radha Damodara party. You personally brought me to the fire sacrifice for my first and second intiation by Srila Prabhupada. For a period of time you allowed me the honor of being your secretary and personally gave me lessons that were taught to you by our beloved gurudev, Srila Prabhupada.

And they were hard lessons indeed. Like the time you entrusted me with thousands of dollars of sankirtan collections and I left the money pouch that contained these collections in the bathroom. You then called me into your office and asked for some money. At that point I realized I had left the pouch in the brahmacary ashram bathroom. I ran back to the ashram and searched frantically, but to no avail. When I came back to you, head between my hands and distraught, you chastised me for my carelessness, reminding me that the devotees had worked long and hard rescuing Laksmidevi. After that chastisement, I realized how irresponsible my actions had been.

You then smiled that big New-York-style smile and produced the pouch, telling me you had done the same thing in India once and this is what Prabhupada did to you to teach you a lesson in responsibility. Lesson taught from father to older brother to younger brother, with love.

Management of a voluntary, non-profit, spiritual organization is a confounding proposition. So much so that no one in the Gaudiya Math could understand this principle enunciated by Srila Bhaktisiddhanta except his empowered disciple and the pure representative of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Srila Prabhupada. Prabhupada, recognizing your extraordinary abilities, trained you so nicely in these devotional management principles, and you in turn tried to train other devotees like me. Unfortunately, due to my complacent nature, I proved to be a poor student, while intelligent devotees like Kesava Bharati, Yogescandra, Drstyadumnya, Adi Kesava, Brahma, and the rest of the hard working Radha Damodara bhaktas followed your lead and worked so tirelessly to distribute Srila Prabhupada's books.

Oh, my Lordships Radha Damodara, for that opportunity once again! For three days now, I've cried, knowing that I've missed the blessing of your association while I pursue mundane achievements. Is this my fate! While great devotees such as you traverse this planet selflessly utilizing this life in fulfilling Prabhupada's desires, I am left simply to lament my lack of resolve and great misfortune.

Will you pray for me that someday I might awaken from my stupor and join the sankirtan procession along side Prabhupada, you, Visnujana Swami, Jayananda Prabhu, and the other glorious Vaisnavas who left this world prematurely? But I guess premature is a relative concept in the wake of the eternal dynamics of sankirtan. Prabhupada needs you and (like you've always done) you've gone to assist him.

I'll always be indebted to you and always remember you for your kindness, my dear Godbrother and friend. Please allow me to always remain,

Yours in the service of Srila Prabhupada,

Laksmi Nrsimha Das

ln108@earthlink.net