“Pratyatosa pretended to be an 'excellent' devotee for a while and slowly and slowly started 'taking over.'”

Dear Prabhus,

I just happened to notice the article titled “Bhusaya is right; Urmila is wrong.” I am that “Stepfather” mentioned in this article; and although the author does not want to reveal the identity, I perfectly know who the author is.

Here is my side of the story:

I went to India in March of 1998 to start a family business. It was going to be a long stay, as my wife and I knew in advance. Due to our financial situation at the time, my wife decided to get a full time job here in Detroit. 

Unfortunately, at the time, she could only find an employment, whereby she would work from 7:00 PM till 7:00 AM the next day (night shift), and she took the offer (we needed money). 

Now, since we have two “teen-agers, it was necessary to have someone in the house during the night. At the time, a devotee named “Laxman das” offered to stay and my wife called me in India, and with my permission, he (Laxman) became a “boarder” in my house and he was paying a nominal of $100 a month rent. 

It so happened that after a few months, Laxman started showing his “true colors” and one day, he was caught robbing a store. He gave police my address and naturally, the cops came to my house. 

This incidence made us get rid of him (we kicked him out of our house). Then my wife asked several devotees to stay in my house but no one was available (as everyone has their own duties and families). 

At the same time, Pratyatosa was in town. He told my wife that he came back to Detroit to re-start his computer business and he is looking for a place to live. He asked if my wife and I could be his “business partners.” 

My wife called me in India and discussed the situation. We agreed that we would rent another apartment in Grosse Pointe and Pratyatosa would use that as his office and stay there during the day. When my wife would go to work at 7 pm, he would come to my house and watch the kids until next morning when my wife would return (and then he would go back to Grosse Pointe). 

However, he never started any business. He then started saying that it would be better if he stays in my basement (and we vacate the Grosse Pointe apartment) and conduct the business. He would give us a percentage of profit once the business picked up. Again, my wife called me to asked me about it, and since I know this family for many years, I agreed.

I want to make it clear that my wife and Pratyatosa never, never, never had any relationship. Since this author mentioned that they are “shaking” together, I think, my wife and I deserve an apology for you for slandering my wife’s reputation. Any way, here is the way the story developed.....

Pratyatosa pretended to be an “excellent” devotee for a while and slowly and slowly started “taking over.” He never paid any rent, neither did he start any business. Meanwhile, I came back from India. When I saw first-hand what was going on, I was shocked. 

My wife (due to her night shift at work) was hardly at home; and Pratyatosa would get on the internet the whole day. He would yell at my kids at will for no reason, (he has kicked my son with his feet several times), he stayed in my house for free, he drove my cars for free, he ate the food for free; and on the top of that, when I started exposing his “true-colors”; he started feeding my wife’s mind against me. 

All along, he had “pulled the wool over” our eyes. I also found out (I didn’t know about it till then) that he is separated from his wife, his kids had nothing to do with him and he had been to jail in North Carolina for domestic violence. 

Once when he started yelling at me, I decided to call the cops (he was getting out of hand), so he cut-off my phone lines. At that point, my son and I got in the car and drove to the Police station and filed a report against him. He always lied to my wife saying that my kids and I are making up things against him (my wife was never at home whenever he “misbehaved”). 

As a matter of fact, whenever he saw my wife pulling in the driveway, he would immediately stick his hand in the beadbag and start chanting. Naturally, my wife, at that time, thought that he is a nice devotee, always chanting....what a show he put on!!!. Eventually, my wife also saw his true colors and then we (my wife and I) decided to kick him out of our house!!!

This whole incidence took a large toll on my children. My kids were always in the “stressed out” state of mind. They tried to stay out of their own house just to avoid Pratyatosa. They could not bring any of their friends to our house; since Pratyatosa would be very offensive to them. 

On one occasion, he physically threw out Nimai (Syamasundara and Rangadevi’s son). On one hand, we brought Pratyatosa in to watch the kids; but due to his own actions, the kids became extremely “stressed out” and stayed away from it all; and in the process, probably fell “right on the lap of Mayadevi.” Teen-age is the time, when one should be under the shelter of one’s parents. I know, we made a big mistake; I should say...”I” made a big mistake, giving permission to Pratyatosa to “take over.”

Now the situation is getting better. Since I came back from India, we have kicked out Pratyatosa; I have started giving more attention to the kids. My wife has left the “night duty” job to be with them as much as possible; and I am sure, that with the blessings from Vaisanavas, everything will get back to normal. Please pray for us!

Ravi.

© CHAKRA 27-Aug-1999

Go to the “Letters Page”