oldchakra.com

Two sannyasis in conversation:

— How did you like my latest book, The Art of Levitation?

— Kept me up all night.
* * *

Adult man asks the sorcerer:

— Do you have anything that stops the aging process?

— Sure. What kind of disease would you like?

Haribol!

Dominic

What is the unit called in which the spiritual power of a swami is measured?

Answer: Dandawatt.

[Complete on this page.]

New Element Discovered  
By Unknown Author

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists at Yale's Research Center.

The element, tentatively named administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons 75 vice-neutrons and 11 assistant vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. 

My name is Syamasundar. I draw devotee cartoons.

© CHAKRA 10 June 2001

I don't think there's any question about whether or not it's spiritual to watch NFL football; rather, the question is what team you root for. Obviously, devotees want the Rams (St. Louis) to kill the Ravens (Baltimore). And, I don't see what's wrong with rooting for the Saints (New Orleans) or the Colts (Indianapolis). Conversely, rooting for the Titans (Tennessee), or those who overthrew the demigods, would be Maya.

Rabbit in Heaven?
By Bhakta Dominic

One old couple made a deal that whoever died would visit his or her partner during a sleep in a dream and report how is in the heaven, in life after life. Some time later the gentleman died, and soon thereafter appeared in his wife's dream.
>Full Story

© CHAKRA 6-January-2000

Radharani Gets Sunglasses
By Adikurma das

CHAKRA (Toronto, Canada) - Say again?

No kidding. About 60 devotees and friends burst into laughter while unwrapping gifts for Srimati Radharani on Her appearance Day recently.

The reason? Someone donated a beautiful pair of sunglasses.
>Full Story

© CHAKRA 20-September-2000

Bhakta Burfi and the Lion
By Gaurangi dasi
(kwa-Zulu -Natal, South Africa)

Bhakta Burfi was very enthusiastic to distribute Prabhupada's books in deepest darkest Africa. While out on Sankirtana, he crossed paths with a full-grown lion. Backing away from the man-eating beast, he began to pray in earnest to Lord Nrisimhadeva. "Dearest Lord, king of all lions, you know the nature of this beast, please make him a devotee." 
>Full Story

© CHAKRA 20-September-2000

Bhakta Burfi Wins the Book Marathon
By Gaurangi dasi
(kwa-Zulu -Natal, South Africa)

Bhaka Burfi surprised everyone when he won the book marathon. He was not the most charming of devotees, nor was he very articulate. In fact, he had quite an embarrassing stutter when he had to speak with strangers. Confused, his far more qualified competitors wondered how he had done it! Thinking that he must have cheated in some way, they secretly followed him.
>Full Story

© CHAKRA 20-September-2000

How It All Works
By svannus@airmail.net 

So this devotee finally went back to Godhead but he had a question he wanted to ask Lord Narayana. "My dear Lord," he said, "I understand that you have innumerable inconceivable potencies. But out of all of them the energy of light seems to be the most amazing. Light pervades the spiritual world, it illuminates the material universes, and life is impossible without it." He continued, "I would like to know how you make it work."

"Oh, that's easy," said Lord Narayana, with an enchanting smile, "Many hands make light work."

© CHAKRA 15-Jan-2004

Poplar Trees
By Vipramukhya Swami

Here in British Columbia, Canada, there are a lot of Poplar trees. A Poplar tree is very pesky kind of tree because it has white colored bark, similar in appearance to the birch trees found on the East Coast of North America.

But there is a brahmacari here - you know the ones that wear that pink color - named Peter Pyari who is an expert in horticulture, and he has developed a very unusual variety of Poplar tree with purple bark rather than white. By the way, Peter Pyari is half Indian, and therefore he has a western first name, and a Sanskrit last name. He's a really calm and quiet sort of chap, but some people think he's a botheration. You know, a pesty person. These new trees are catching on, and lots of folks are buying them.

If I wanted to explain the whole thing to you, I could just say it like this:

Many people like peeking at Poplar trees, especially pink-clad, peaceful pesty Peter Pyari's popular purple pesky Poplar trees popping up here and there.

Bet you can't say it really fast.

Yours in the service of Srila Prabhupada,
Vipramukhya Swami

© CHAKRA 27-June-2000

Florida Fruit Flies
By Vipramukhya Swami and Kalki dasa

Last week I was in Miami, and Kesava Swami took me to see the new farm that the devotees are purchasing. It's a really beautiful farm, with lots of fruit trees. But one of the drawbacks is that fruit trees attract a lot of fruit flies, which are pests.

There were fifty of these fruit flies, but because it's a Hare Krishna farm, a little more than a dozen of these fruit flies developed a special relationship with the devotees until one day they all flew away.

Fifteen of the fifty favorite Florida Fruit Flies from the ISKCON farm in Florida flew from Florida one fine day.

Bet you can't say it really fast.

Yours in the service of Srila Prabhupada,
Vipramukhya Swami

© CHAKRA 27-June-2000

Lord Balaram's Big Black Bellowing Buffalo
By Vipramukhya Swami and Kalki dasa

Lord Balaram's big, black, bellowing buffalo bit billions of bags of bitter berries, but barely any of the billions of bags of bitter berries bit by Lord Balaram's big, black, bellowing buffalo became burried in his belly because he barfed all the billions of bags of bitter berries that he bit into a big black bin behind the beautiful brown barn in Brindaban.

Bet you can't say it really fast. In fact, I bet you can't say it at all!

Yours in the service of Srila Prabhupada,
Vipramukhya Swami

© CHAKRA 27-June-2000

Light Bulbs
By Unknown

Question: How many devotees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: None. It's not my service, Prabhu.

© CHAKRA 24-June-2000